Epiphanies and my dislike of technology in the classroom.

Dear Leigh, 

A little while after I wrote that last post, I reached some of the same conclusions you did.  It dawned on me in poetry class, actually...we were working through some Jorie Graham (amazing poet), and my professor mentioned that the next section of Graham's book of poetry focused on standard events in the life of a woman (or anyone, really).  Suddenly I realized that here was a woman writing about a life not remarkably different from anyone else's and doing it in a way that brought out the emotion and movement of ordinary occurrences.  What she does is beautiful, and, though it mirrors ideas that other poets have had and events that others have experienced, it brings out something that only she can articulate.  If Jorie Graham can write about being her--a woman, a wife, a mother, a daughter--then I can, too.  Those things that inspire me have so often felt unworthy because of how ordinary they are, yet those are the same things that led Graham to write and gain respect in her field.  

So I don't have to find something to be passionate about outside of myself and my relationships, which are what really drive me, to write or paint in a meaningful way.  My work may not be like Jeremiah's--it definitely won't be--but it can be equally good.  I guess that my primary realization was that it isn't that I don't have passion, it's that I don't recognize the passions that I have as passions worthy enough to be pursued within the academic realm or extended into my creative endeavors.   

***break for department meeting***

Since that day in poetry class, I've been noting the images and memories that affect me and have taken up the project of writing about what it's like to move through this world as the person that I am.  The connections that I make between separate and seemingly unrelated moments are, in my opinion, what can separate my writing from the cliche writing about boys and friends and going from adolescence to adulthood (not sure I'm quite finished with that).

As for following J wherever he might go...I'm like you with the captain.  I'd follow my intense writer/procrastinator/banjo-er/guitar-er halfway around the world if that's where he wanted to go next, but I think that part of love--outside of a force that will move you out of your comfort zone--is a compatibility that means that following the one you love wherever they want to go isn't necessarily the antithesis to doing precisely what you want to do for you.  

What I mean is that, though I will go to whatever place J wants to attend grad school, I'm confident that the place he chooses will have opportunities for me, as well, both socially and professionally.  I'm also itching to get out of Blacksburg...I'm excited to go someplace new.  And I'm excited about our plans to eventually come back to good old southwest Virginia and build our own place--on land he will likely inherit--not just because he proposed the idea (I didn't have a clear one in mind) but because it hearkens back to my little-girl dreams of living in the country and producing at least some things for myself.

On a different note, I'm concerned about the direction education is heading. We just had a meeting about ePortfolios, and I find that the faculty are more focused on incorporating technology for technology's sake than they are on incorporating it when it has a clear and useful purpose.  Just because it's new doesn't mean it's progress...so many times the computers only serve to complicate things further and add work for teacher and student alike.  I also disapprove of this "student-centered" learning in which we are encouraged to coddle students with short-attention spans who don't like to read books.  I refuse to bring unnecessary technology into my theoretical classroom just because kids nowadays cannot pay attention or take notes.  Why should we accept the decline of reading and real critical thinking and communications skills?  College is a place to be challenged, not a place for hand-holding. 

In my opinion, anyway.

I'd love your thoughts...hope you're well.

Love,

Kate

An Optimistic Soap Box

Dear Kate,

I read the date of your last letter and was riddled to shame at the length of time I’ve allowed to lapse for my response. However, as I re-read your thoughts, it sparked the same emotion I felt the first time I read your words a month ago. Why it took me so long to respond… I don’t feel right making excuses, because there are none.

The emotions corresponding with your words first dealt with your talk of following J wherever his life may lead. Upon first glance, I fluffed up my feathers of female independence and thought NO!! You should be foraging your own path, and fitting his life to yours. But then I realized my own shoes would follow the capt’s half way around the world and back for two reasons. The first reason is simply because I love him so much, I would never want to be apart from him. His life and mine flow along the same path so effortlessly that I do not feel I am losing any part of my own identity in accompanying him. The second reason is as simple: his life would lead me on the road of adventure I so much adore in this existence. So my thoughts back to your willingness to follow J – I pray that his life will lead you on that adventure, positively influencing your life’s accomplishments. I know you have the commitment with him, I simply pray the second piece won’t lead you into a life of settlement. I do believe you know as well as I that life is truly an adventure worth living.

The second emotion that bubbled from your letter deals with comparison. You are a wonderful person: intelligent, talented, creative. Yet you compare your gifts to those of J. You should be looking to him more for inspiration perhaps than comparison. You are both truly differing people with differing abilities. I fear when we begin to evaluate ourselves against those we admire, we will always fall short. We will never be good enough – You really have your own talents and passions without need for personal judgement based on another's life. I have found that I could many times set my own self up for doubt if I compare myself within YOUR shadow, rather than using it for inspiration. You amaze me, yet I know I have my own abilities outside of your glow. There is no comparison. I fear that when we stumble into a life of “us vs. them,” we set ourselves up for certain failure! We will never be as good as “them” because we are “me’s.” You are the individual with the individual talent – a talent you need to tend to rather than compare. I’ll never be as good a sailor as the capt, but that’s ok, that talent belongs to him. I am simply along for the ride, silently learning as much as possible to become the best I need to be at his sport.

Finally, as to your thesis: Sometimes the topics we choose as “easy” may be those towards which we feel some form of passion. In other words, what you may consider “easy” may not be so for another whose passion falls in another field. For you, your love is in the evolution of the short story. Another may hate the idea of the evolution, and rather focus on the writers choice of pen name. There are so many pieces. Like I mentioned before, both in my previous letter and within this paragraph, passion is that in which we find ease because we love the topic so much. You need to write about what you love: music, thrift-stores, painting, short-stories. Don’t feel your life is so humdrum that you believe it would make for a boring tale. I believe Jane Austen’s tales were not about very interesting lives, yet she wrote them with her own passion – threading that flow of emotion needed to grasp a reader’s adoration. Simply: it is fine to write about those things which are “easy” because they are often the things we care most about, thus weaving the ribbon of interest based upon our own experience and zeal.

Best of luck to your writing, ma cousine.
Paix,
Leigh